music makes me lose control, take two

First of all, iPhone!

I completely do not need, do not deserve, and did not earn this awesome little device, but you just don't turn down a free iPhone. It couldn't have come at a better time though, because ever since my iPod finally up and iDied a few months ago, my outside-the-apartment life has been lacking a soundtrack. However, it only has about 6 free gigs of storage. So, after throwing on the entire discographies of Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, the Beatles (you know, the essentials), and Weezer (shut up), I was forced to make some tough choices. Here's who made the cut:


Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Bomb. Repeat. Bomb.

As everyone who knows me is probably tired of hearing, my cousin Chris played bass for Chisel, Ted Leo's previous project. I've been listening to Chisel (and therefore, Ted Leo) for almost a decade now, so it's completely inexplicable that I didn't start listening to the Pharmacists until a few months ago. This song's off their latest album, Living with the Living, and it just kicks your ass right from the opening riff, screaming out in protest against the inhumanity of aerial bombing, the most effective and least empathetic method of conducting war. It's hard to write good lyrics and even harder to write smart ones, but Leo, with a finely honed sense of irony, crafts a evocative image of the Top Gun-inspired flyboy blowing the fuck out of BrownPeopleistan, and goddamn it's a fun ride. Besides, how many rock songs get you thinking about the emotional disconnect between a bombing crew and the people they're bombing?


Man or Astro-Man?
Inside the Atom

Man or Astro-man? was a fucking fantastic band with a hilarious gimmick - they pretended to be aliens sent to Earth for the sole purpose of playing surf rock, and answered only to their stage names (Birdstuff, Star Crunch, Coco the Electric Monkey Wizard, and so on). Their sound's been described as sort of a surf/punk fusion, but I like to think of them as the Mystery Science Theater 3000 of music - relying heavily on electronics, sound effects and audio samples from horrible old sci-fi movies, and having the audience in on the joke. Unfortunately, grinding out 9 or 10 albums in seven years seems to have burned them out for the time being, they haven't been in the studio since 2000. This reunion set was filmed at their label's 25th Anniversary festival in 2006. Apparently, they're the kind of band you haven't actually heard until you've heard them live.


Killdozer
Knuckles the Dog (Who Helps People)

It's actually been a while since I listened to Killdozer regularly, but they belong to the same record label as the Pharmacists and Man or Astro-man?, so I felt obligated to include them as well. Operating out of Chicago, Touch and Go Records is maybe one of the ballsiest indie labels around, signing artists with handshake deals and a 50-50 split on all profits. It's also currently owned and run by Corey Rusk, the bass player for one of the label's first bands. If every record company was run by a musician, we'd all be much better off musically.

Killdozer (coming from Madison of all fucking places) was one of my first forays into non-mainstream music, and serves as a pretty good barometer as to the state of early '90s punk. I wouldn't call them extraordinarily talented musicians, and most of their songs start to sound alike after awhile, but the reasons why I will always love this band can be summed up quite easily:

1. Their break-up tour was called Fuck You, We Quit!
2. Their reunion tour was called Fuck You, We Reunite!
3. They wrote a song about a dog who entertains the elderly and takes a bullet for a retarded boy, from whose perspective the song is sung.
4. They put that song on an album titled The Uncompromising War on Art Under the Dictatorship of the Proletariat.
   
5. They dedicated the aforementioned album "In Loving Memory of Burl Ives" and Burl Ives wasn't dead.
   
6. They covered American Pie.
   

Christ, that must've been a fun band to be in.


Vampire Weekend
Oxford Comma

I've been listening to this band for literally less than 12 hours and I'm already in love. I hadn't even heard of them until last week, when over a couple days they came up no less than five separate times. Figuring it was fate, I got hold of their self-titled debut (and so far only) album and threw it on before leaving for class this morning, and I was hooked by the time I got on the bus. I wish I could go more in-depth about them, but I do blogs off the top of my head and I haven't read anything about them yet. Oxford Comma is a particularly good song - catchy and simple, even if I have no fucking clue what it's about, plus the music video looks like a Wes Anderson movie.

Oh, that's a good thing.


Fountains of Wayne
Hackensack

The problem with one-hit wonders is that sometimes they're not. Most people have only heard Stacy's Mom and the pretty hilarious music video, but Fountains of Wayne's Welcome Interstate Managers (2003) is one of the best pop albums in recent memory. Hackensack is a sweet, straightforward love song about a guy stuck in his New Jersey hometown pining for a famous actress he went to high school with. Unlike a lot of love songs, it doesn't come across as sappy or saccharine, but refreshingly honest.

A quick note to Fountains of Wayne: Welcome Interstate Managers really could have been four tracks shorter. Obviously I love it, but those last four songs are the weakest, and 45 minutes is still a respectable album length. Most importantly, Fire Island is just a PERFECT closing track, to the point where I changed the track numbers in iTunes so it's at the end. Just saying.


The Clash
Ghetto Defendant
the video is footage from the movie Rude Boy.

The funniest thing about this song is that Allen Ginsberg probably tried to blow Joe Strummer while they were recording it. Ginsberg, THE beat poet, the man responsible for the fucking masterpiece that is Howl, not only collaborated with The Clash on their lyrics, but recorded the fucking sweet spoken-word dystopic imagery, AND FUCKING TOURED WITH THEM IN NEW YORK. This bears repetition: Allen Ginsberg toured with The Clash. There are very few things that are as fucking sweet as that.

I'll end with a copy/paste of a conversation me and Alby had about a month ago about this song and Ginsberg:

1:40:42 AM Alby: ginsberg loved punk rock
1:40:43 AM Alby: haha
1:40:53 AM Me: "do the worm on necropolis/slamdance cosmopolis/enlighten the populace" is one of the coolest fucking things i've ever heard
1:40:55 AM Alby: he performed with the black holes at UWM
1:41:51 AM Alby: who actually aren't a band anymore
1:42:10 AM Alby: this song is awesome haha
1:42:16 AM Alby: good find
1:42:48 AM Me: i downloaded Combat Rock a month ago and this is the only song on it that i hadn't heard before that actually grabbed me
1:43:09 AM Alby: awesome that they have ginsberg reading his poetry
1:43:15 AM Alby: and it works some how
1:43:18 AM Me: yeah
1:43:38 AM Me: i'm not really sure how they pulled that off
1:43:54 AM Alby: Ice probably brought them more than just Patron
1:43:57 AM Me: hahaha
1:44:20 AM Me: it's like they were just chilling with him and he was reading a poem and they just busted out a bass line and took it from there
1:44:29 AM Alby: haha probably
1:44:39 AM Alby: he probably tried to fuck them all first
1:44:42 AM Me: the other vocals are pretty sweet too
1:44:52 AM Alby: ginsberg wanted to sleep with everyone
1:45:00 AM Me: god i would not want to hang out with him
1:45:04 AM Alby: hahaha
1:45:17 AM Me: like, fuck
1:45:19 AM Alby: horny jew poet
1:45:19 AM Me: have some standards
1:46:08 AM Alby: he got caught fucking himself with a broom handle in Russia
1:46:16 AM Alby: in a public restroom
1:46:36 AM Alby: russia or cuba
1:46:43 AM Me: russia's funnier
1:46:47 AM Alby: yeah
1:46:55 AM Me: somehow it's even more ridiculous if it's cold out
1:47:39 AM Me: there's such a thing as being way too comfortable with your sexuality and i think he found the line and jumped over it
1:49:06 AM Alby: where's the rotten people archive?
1:49:15 AM Me: rotten.com/library?
1:50:23 AM Alby: http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/authors/beats/allen-ginsberg/
1:50:46 AM Alby: "Ginsberg is probably best known for his close relationships with Beat legends Jack Kerouac (blew him), Neal Cassady (blew him too), and William S. Burroughs (and him)"
1:51:18 AM Alby: neither cassady or kerouc were gay
1:51:49 AM Me: ok, still can't imagine a situation where i'd let a dude blow me unless i was in prison and i needed to establish some cred
1:52:14 AM Alby: your comment about being overcomfortable with sexuality was good
1:52:15 AM Alby: haha
1:52:22 AM Alby: though it doesn't really scare me in the same way
1:52:25 AM Alby: I just think it's funny
1:52:29 AM Alby: and NEAT
1:52:35 AM Me: OH THAT'S SO INTERESTING
1:52:37 AM Alby: by the way, you should blow me
1:52:49 AM Me: fag
1:52:54 AM Alby: HAW HAW

If this man were alive, he'd try to fuck you.